curvemudgeon: (fail)
[personal profile] curvemudgeon
If you're going to be sending drivers through Arlington in the morning could you at least filter out the assholes kthx.

Date: 2011-07-07 01:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] arensb.livejournal.com
No, we couldn't. We're all assholes kthxdiaf.

Date: 2011-07-07 01:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] curvemudgeon.livejournal.com
Nothing for it but to push funding for the lint traps then.

Date: 2011-07-07 01:51 pm (UTC)
ivy: (@)
From: [personal profile] ivy
If we had an intrastate asshole filter, we would be the richest state by a lot. Everyone would want one of those. Can you imagine going through the TSA at an airport then?

Date: 2011-07-07 02:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] curvemudgeon.livejournal.com
Technically I think you do - www.smoothoperatorprogram.com . Apparently the law of (un?)intended consequences is that a subset of cross-border travelers just banks the doucheiness and spends it in my 'hood.

Y'know, if the TSA wished to impose a twatwaffle tax for particularly difficult[0] people I'd have a hard time arguing against it. Add some uniformed air marshals and give them wireless card swipes.

[0] FVVO difficult but in the absence of other definitions I'll start with, "those who annoy me." :D

Date: 2011-07-07 11:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] antarctico.livejournal.com
Hey Virginia, if you are going to allow driving at all in your fine commonwealth, could you learn what a grid pattern is a try laying out your roads in some fashion more logical than mimicking the veins on grandma's legs? Oh, and hey Arlington in particular, you should investigate this new 21st century invention called public parking. If you need to see what it looks like, you should take a peek at Bethesda. OK, I luv you bye, bye.

Date: 2011-07-07 11:33 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] pastor-saturn.livejournal.com
Now, honey. Some of these roads are thousands of years old!

Date: 2011-07-07 11:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] curvemudgeon.livejournal.com
Oh so THAT explains why so many MD tagged cars are exhibiting the characteristics of Brownian motion while headed down Washington Blvd. - they're trying to follow the grid they think should be there. Next time I happen to get next to one at a light I'll try to remember to point out that the grid lines they see on their GPS display are just an artifact of the software and they don't actually exist in real life.

Date: 2011-07-08 01:36 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] antarctico.livejournal.com
Please, Virginia is like a magic glade where euclidean geometry is unknown, street names vanish into mist only to reappear in random locations, and the roads are laid down on the paths earthworms leave in the mud after a hard rain. Driving in Virginia for Maryland drivers is like being trapped in an Escher drawing and the game is to desperately try and find the edges so they can escape back home where the roads are laid out by men and not the fairy folk.

Oh, maybe I'm just jealous that I don't live in flipping Brigadoon.

Date: 2011-07-08 11:19 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] curvemudgeon.livejournal.com
AND - we have unicorns.

Date: 2011-07-09 07:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] curvemudgeon.livejournal.com
"Shun the non-believer! Shun! Shuuuuuuuuu-uunn-nnnaaa."

And didn't even have to look.

Date: 2011-07-08 04:14 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jukebox-heroine.livejournal.com
hey, virginia.
you should just try to be more like maryland, and then we will all get along just fine.

Date: 2011-07-08 05:24 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] curvemudgeon.livejournal.com
Y'know, if it got CooCoo-cinelli out of the picture it might just be worth it.

Date: 2011-07-08 05:17 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bluvampr.livejournal.com
well, you could say the same about DC, MD, VA, or almost any other state...

drivers from everywhere are idiots and assholes. i used to think PA drivers were better since they have that law about being in the left lane only to pass, but it seems they've decided to make up for lost time and just hang left and go slow.

though i still contend that midwest drivers are better than coastal drivers. or at least marginally more polite.

Date: 2011-07-08 05:19 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bluvampr.livejournal.com
in the long run, though, it would be best if we had european-style driving tests. you can't drive, you fail. and since it costs up to several thousand dollars to take the test, you don't do it until you're ready. comma dammit.

Date: 2011-07-08 05:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] curvemudgeon.livejournal.com
Being an area with a large transient military population which are apparently reassigned en masse combined with no requirement to register their vehicles in said states (thus making them relatively easy to identify) it's interesting to note emergent driving behaviors over time. When IA, OK, GA, TN clusters appear around here they generally have only stood out to me due to a lack of need for heightened expectations of unpredictable/anti-social driving behavior.

On the other hand I've noticed that PA, CA, FL, AK have tended to represent the other end of that spectrum. Alongside them are that subset of MD drivers, most of whom are no doubt local commuters rather than semi-permanently relocated to the area, who have recently (last 3-4 months has been most noticeable) decided to make Arlington their commuter route.

There's probably a thousand words just to cover the self-selection bias inherent in this particular sample of Marylanders and another five thousand exploring the correlation between selection criteria, behavior, and expression via a vis driving but that's not important. What is important is that those goddamn kids get the hell of my lawn before I start cracking heads with the onion on my belt.

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